It’s taken me a while to pluck up the courage to think this one through and write down my thoughts about my experience in Beijing so I hope you enjoy seeing the race from the inside. In the build up to the race my preparation had been the best ever. Everything had gone right and to plan, in most cases even better that I could possible have hoped for. I’d prepared physically for the demands of the event and also the conditions. I was psychologically ready for a big one. Everything that lay within my control I had attended to with precision and focus. I was motivated, fit, healthy and raring to go. Just making the start line of a marathon can be a very perilous journey with its ups and downs but I really wasn’t expecting my toughest fight to be on the day itself.
As you may already know my Olympic ambition was halted by a cruel twist of unexpected fate. Just before ten miles my leg was kicked from behind and in a split second I was watching in slow motion as my smooth effortless running came crashing down on the Beijing tarmac. I’d been tripped from behind and fell heavily. I felt no pain at the time, rolling across my back and quickly up on my feet again. Initially I thought, ‘ok I’m fine, settle into your running and stay calm’. I felt calm and quickly found my way back to the front of the Olympic marathon once more. Looking back I know now this was the adrenaline concealing the pain. Two more miles and my elbow ached when I reached for my drinks bottle. I didn’t mind my arm would not really affect my race. Then a searing pain in my ribs gradually got worse and worse as the kms ticked past.
By 25k into the race I had real trouble breathing. I was unable to take in a full breath and I was taking quicker shallow breaths to minimise the pain in my side. It felt as though I was running on one lung, as if I was running with a belt tied around my chest. I felt the race slipping away from me. When I asked my body to respond – as it has done so many times before in training – it just wouldn’t do what I wanted. I kept trying to surge - if I could just close the gap and hold on to the lead group - but each time the pain gripped my side and I was reduced to running at a pace well within myself. It was the most frustrating 16 miles of my running life. I hadn’t trained so hard for this. I wanted the pain. I was ready for the suffering. I really wanted to feel the intense hurt of the Olympic marathon. Just not like this.
I was in great shape- the best of my life. I had worked so hard for this one day, running the most consistent miles of my training life. I was injury and illness free. I had controlled all the elements I could control to be fit and ready for this moment. I could not have asked for a smoother more focussed preparation. I was really ready to race.
The first 9 miles of the race went perfectly to plan. I was leading the Olympic marathon controlled and comfortable at the front of the pack. I was excited about everything and waiting for it to kick off. I was soaking it in. Running on the biggest stage with the best in the world and loving every moment. Running along side Paula I was so proud. The two Bedford girls - it took me back when we used to race together as kids. I was proud of our coach Alex Stanton who had got us both to this point.
In contrast the last 16 miles were painful and frustrating. I was never going to not finish and despite the pain had to really dig deep at times. It hurt, but not like I’d planned for. I had dreamt about running into the magnificent birds nest stadium many times and how I would feel. Strong and fast, exhausted but happy to have finished having had a tough but great race. Instead I felt embarrassed that I could not have done better. I did not enjoy it because the pain was so intense I just wanted to cross the line. I was also gutted for Paula, I’d seen her limping just ahead before entering the stadium. I’d come to Beijing for the performance of my life and I was ready for it. I just wasn’t expecting to bite the Beijing tarmac such forceful enthusiasm! My smile when I entered the stadium was a grimace and my tears at the end were for mine and Paula’s disappointment.
Sport is like that. The highs are high and the lows can be very low. But that is why I do it. I love the highs and they are worth every single low. I am not afraid to lose and love to win. I love running and I also love feeling alive – whether that is in success or not doing as well as I’d hoped. I know running is just a small but significant part of my life and the disappointment will fade. I could not control what happened to me in the race so I have to just to take it on the chin.
After the race I was whisked off for an ex- ray. My ribs were not broken, possible fractured, definitely displaced and badly bruised. More like a rugby scrum injury than those associated with running a marathon. My legs felt fine – no tightness or soreness that is typical of marathon running. Getting tripped and falling meant that I was nowhere near to realising my potential on the day. The first time I’ve ever fallen in a road running race – just a bit of whopper day to do it on!
10 days on and my bruises and scabs have healed. But my ribs still serve as a constant reminder, halting any running for now, and any races I had planned for the end of the season. Plus my pride and confidence still feel a bit bruised!
I enjoyed the rest of the Games. They were amazing. The Chinese put on a great show and organised things very well form an athlete’s perspective. I loved watching my team mates some of whom did amazingly well, including my village flat mates Helen Clitheroe and Goldie Sayers each getting National records in their events.
I will not be the last to fall and indeed I was not the last to fall in these Games. For as many of the highs we hear about there are many more lows and disappointments that we don’t hear about. I will bounce back again soon – just not literally I hope.
Let me eat some cake first!
Thanks for all your comments. Good luck with your own running. If you see me at the Adidas Women's Challenge hobbling about come and say hi.
Tags:
Post Views: 792
