Overview

of my new 14 month training plan.

After yesterdays confirmation that I have now deferred my place to next year there was always the risk (knowing me) that I would forget about running for a bit (probably until Xmas next year!!) but this morning, after not a great nights sleep and waking up in the bottom bunk bed rather than my own comfy bed, which was happily filled by a 4 year old that takes up more space on his own than the other 3 of us put together, and the offer of my lovely hubby to go back to bed for a bit, I declined and went for a run!!

It was a lovely 2 1/2 mile run along the river and round the park and I definitely ran quicker than my usual plod, the only downside was the wind in my face on the way back which made my eyes stream and from the look of all the dog walkers I saw assume it looked like I was crying.  I wasn't, honest, I was really enjoying myself. I still didn't run the whole route, although some of that was due to it being so muddy and I am still paranoid about slipping and doing the back more damage, but I ran more of it than yesterday and felt good.  My aim is to run that whole route before adding a mile on and just keep doing that, slowly and surely and hopefully getting out 4 or 5 times a week as it is only a half hour run so easily fitted in in the mornings.  Once back from my hols I may even attempt a longer run at the weekends and hopefully with all this training the weight should fall off which will make the training easier.

Busy busy weekend with Alex at a party this afternoon and then his gymnastics party tomorrow, 25 6 and 7 year olds!! Monday is his birthday - can't believe my little boy is 7, where does the time go. He made my day when he said to me the other day "mum, you look much younger than all the other mums. Why are they so old?". Bless him, shame half the mums heard!!! Then his birthday Monday and then packing Tuesday and Wednesday.  Think its about time I got off here and got on with it!!

Thank you for all your kind words on my last post.  Other than actually running the marathon I'm going to miss meeting all of you, though I'm sure more than half of you will be back next year!!

Have a good weekend XX

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til next year. VLM 2011 here I come!!

But I'm actually sitting here with a lump in my throat, a tear in the eye and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that come 25 April I'm going to regret this decision. I suppose at least I'm lucky that I get to give it another shot next year and it's not like I have to pull out and hope for a place. I can start on my 60 week training plan now.  At the rate this year went I might even be up to about 20 miles by now!!!

I want to thank everyone on here for all there support and advice over the last 10 months. I know I would have quit a long time ago if it wasn't for all of you like minded people giving me the incentive and confidence to come this far and realising I'm not mad to want to do this and I promise that I'm going to keep on blogging to let you know my progress and that whatever happens this year, it's certainly not going to be as bad as last year. 

Even more importantly I'm going to keep on running.  I know this deferral is going to be a bit of a blow as in a way I've proved my husband and family right, I can't run a marathon BUT it is only this year and it was my decision due to health and injury and not because I don't believe I couldn't do it. Hell I was even tempted to walk but I think that would have been cutting off my nose to spite my face and even I'm not that stubborn, and 26 miles is a very long way!! I am also going to keep on running as I like it. It makes me feel good physically and mentally and I won't lie, I sometimes have to force myself out the door but once I'm out I feel a hundred times better when I get back even if the back is hurting, my lungs are bursting and all I'm fit for is the sofa, but I still did it.

Anyway seeing as this is a running blog I'd better report on the running, you see despite it being my birthday (thanks for my birthday messages) even an indian and my Auntie Marg's homemade lemon merangue couldn't thwart my attempts to get fitter and had my third run this week this morning.  Isn't it lovely running out in the sunshine, even if it is freezing.  I was a bit stupid earlier in the week and tried to run the river route only to be met by burst banks and the river higher than I've ever seen it (although an old man insisted it's been higher) and just ended up soggy and covered in mud.  Today everything is almost back to to normal and despite it still being a bit muddy, the cold had ensured the ground had hardened nicely.  I've been sticking to the same route so it's only a couple of miles but I'm finding it easier to run now, and even have a fleeting suspision I'm getting a little faster. To be honest though it will be nice to just run for the enjoyment rather that the pressure and despite all us newbies being told it takes years to train for a marathon and none of us listening, this time I'm going to do it properly, get fitter, thinner and get all those niggles sorted before anything major.  Might even manage a race or 2 and am hoping to get up the midlands way for a couple of them as that is where my uncle is from and so it will be nice to race with him and my cousins (also gives me somewhere to stay!!) so look forward to maybe seeing some of you there, plus obviously the Essex/London ones.

Not to rub it in but this time next week I will be on the beach and despite the weightloss coming to a grinding halt and only losing lb this week I still can't wait. Will try and catch up on some blogs but am going to be manic until we go.

Hope all your training is going well and your injuries are healing - Simone tut tut!!!

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I daren't look back and see when the last time I blogged was.  I'm seriously thinking that someone is stealing time from me as I really don't know where it goes!!

Well the good news is that despite the lack of blogging it doesn't mean there has been a lack of training.  Most of this training is in fact down to knowing that this time in 2 weeks I'll be laying in the sun by the pool in Lanzarote thanks to my wonderful husband, who sick of all the illness decided a week in the sun would do us all the world of good. Depsite my intial reservations about taking Alex out of school for a week, his teachers seemed to agree that some sun might do him good (think the fact that he has lost so much weight from all the tummy upsets he looks like a skeleton, and is as white!) and have promised to load us up with work for him so he won't miss out too much. Of course being a woman my reservations were weight related and the fact that far more flesh than I'm comfortable with will have to be shown. 

Therefore got my notepad out and wrote out my diet and exercise plan for the 3 weeks we had til the holiday and 1 week down I've lost 7lbs and an inch off my hips and waist (my legs stayed the same and arms gained half an inch but thinks thats toning up!!). I've been running about 2 - 3 miles 4 times a week and initially it was really hard because my chest still isn't completely recovered from the bronchitus and my back is still playing up, but it felt good to get out, and this mornings run was the easiest yet despite the gale force wind playing havoc with my breathing and it was only lack of time that meant I didn't continue running as I think I had at least another mile in me (it was only 2 today as literally had half hour spare). I've been doing various exercises indoors (lunges, squats, arm exercises, sit ups) every day which seemed to have helped and skipping on the days I don't run. With my diet I've not been starving myself but have been really sensible and write down exactly what I'm going to eat every day and when I'm feeling a bit hungry just have tea.  I'm really pleased with how easy I've found it (ok it's only just over a week but that's really good for me, I don't do diets!!) and am hoping that I can get under 12 stone for my holiday (4lbs to go but hopefully I'll lose mmore than that!!) and then continue from there.  There's a gym at the hotel we're staying at and runs along the promenade (I've been there before so know what it's like) and obviously lots of swimming and as we're all inclusive it shouldn't be too hard to stay quite healthy with the eating (I can try at least!!) so even while I'm away I can try to at least not put anything on.

As for the marathon I really don't think it's going to happen this year.  With only 8 weeks to go there's no way I'm going to be fit, despite how fit and healthy I'm getting.  The back is still playing up and after a good 8 mile walk the other day with my mum it was agony by the end and I was hobbling along like an old woman so I think even walking the marathon could be painful.  After having a long heart to heart with my uncle, who is running his 12th London this year so very experienced (and just got back from a cruise where he ran over 30 times round the ships 3rd of a mile deck to keep his mileage up every day!!) he really didn't think, even with visits to the osteopath or chiropracter, that this year wouldn't be very enjoyable and having himself hobbled 16 miles after slipping one year and damaging his knee, its a very long way if you're injury flares up half way round.  He advised to take it slow and build up for next year, work with the experts to get my back sorted and lose the weight and get healthy and then take on smaller races first, which to be honest at this time is much more appealing and sensible.

I feel really terrible for my charity though as I know they have had a few people pull out already with injuries, must have been the terrible winter, but in my heart I don't think I would get to the end of the marathon this year and would rather take the pressure off myself by making a decision now rather than hobbling on.

I'll hopefully blog before my holiday but it is my birthday this weekend and then Alex is 7 the weekend after and I've got 30 children at a gymnastics party to cater for!!

Have managed to read a few of your blogs and you are all doing fantastic.  Keep up the good work and hope you all stay fit XX

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as football is on and so I'm blogging. Dont' know where the time goes and I just can't seem to keep on top of everyones posts. Sorry.

Not much to report on the running front as we are all still sick, in fact getting worse, but I feel like a broken record and am more sick of talking about being sick than actually being sick (that made sense in my head, honest!!). Because of that didn't make the meet the experts thing (yay Arsenal just scored - makes a change!!) which I was gutted about but don't think I would have been able to keep my eyes open after getting barely 2 hours sleep for the 3rd night in a row.

I really want to get back out running but am physically not able.  I miss it sooooo much, especially as life is quite stressful at the moment and even when I'm only running a couple of miles and its really slow, mentally you feel much better, even if physically you don't. I really hope I can get out soon and get some proper training in.  I want to run this marathon more than anything and know that my training is woefully inadequate considering how near it is and the temptation to defer is getting ever stronger, but when I started this journey last April it was because one of my dreams was to take part in the London Marathon and I have since learnt what an enormous task getting there really is. I think that to take part in and hopefully finish the marathon this year, despite everything, would actually be a greater achievement than defering and running a decent time in 2011 because I still carried on regardless and 2011 will be for bettering this years time, not instead of this year!! I have met so many wonderful people through this site who carry on regardless and who have inspired and motivated me and I feel that in the spirit of this site it is only right that I carry on (and hopefully have a few friends who may need to carry me over the finish line!!!).

Anyway enough of all that, must be the drugs, the good thing to happen this weekend was we got 2 new additions to the family, 2 rescue cats called Jake and Jasmine (Snazzy - her last owners young son couldn't say Jasmine) who are 2 years old.  They are gorgeous and have settled in really well although still a bit wary of the boys but it is so good to have cats again.  I grew up with them and really missed having pets so me and the boys finally convinced daddy to go to the rehoming show to enquire about getting a kitten and the soppy wotsit falls in love with our 2 cats so later that day we are able to bring them home.  They are such affectionate cats and both follow me around everywhere and like nothing more than sitting on my lap being fussed, which I'll be honest with life the way it is at the moment, is absolute heaven.  I could almost go so far as to say that I prefer the cats to most of the people in my life, but that would be putting the cats down!! Anyway I'll put some photos up when the cats have got used to posing for the camera instead of just fussing it.

Hope it doesn't snow anymore and you are all able to get out for your runs.  I hope to get back to it soon and the next post will be purely running, but you've all heard that before!!

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Really didn't realise it had been so long since I had blogged, sorry.  As ever lots happening and as ever we're all still ill!! I've had a stinking cold and chest infection (again!!!) for nearly 10 days, Si's onto his second cold of the year and both they boys have had tummy bugs (Alex had another accident at school, bless him) and Sam also had a raging fever so happy days in the Compton house but feel a bit better (deliberate pun there!) knowing that half the school are also suffering so it's really not just me. Had a few runs but nothing more than a couple of miles and all caused great suffering so don't think they really count, but you've got to try, especially as I've still not deferred my place and am still more leaning towards still doing the marathon this year.  Am going to the "Meet the Experts" thing in London on Sunday which I'm really quite excited about and know that will make me want to do it even more.  Is anyone else going?? Would be nice to know someone there but then again most of you on here seem to be experts anyway.

Really, really sorry I haven't caught up on your blogs.  The Compton household computer caught one of the lurgies that was going round and had to stay in bed for nearly a week which wasn't much fun.  Thank god for Facebook on my phone but I'm not very good at using the phone so it's very hit and miss.  I've attempted to write this blog about 4 times over the past week but for some reason the computer just thinks about then spits it out, maybe it's sick of me whingeing about being sick!! Hoperfully will manage to catch up on a few tonight and then also tomorrow when Sam's at pre-school.

As for my mum, she's been referred to a top Professor for a second opinion as she has a unique type of cancer that they have never seen before.  It is genetic too so they want to check my mum's genes to see where the "flaw" is and then test me and my sister and our children and also my mum's brother and sisters to see if it has been passed on. With the type of cancer she has there is also a 50% chance of it spreading to her womb and uterus so they've done all of those tests which have come back clear.  Unfortunately my sister has Colitis which causes polyps and she has already had pre-cancerous ones removed, as well as pre-cancerous polyps removed from her cervix and uterus so the doctor is very worried that it is hereditary and has already been passed to her so wants us both to have all the probes, scans and tests done as soon as possible as the genetics can take well over 6 months so he doesn't want to risk waiting. Great fun but I'd rather know, although would have rather just had the genetics done. It will be quite weird knowing what I could potentially "get" when I'm older, as apparently they will check for other stuff to. At least then I'll know what charities to run for in the future so hopefully they'll find a cure and then I won't have to worry!! My mum was really upset at first thinking she might have passed this on but like me and my sister said to her, at least we have the chance to find out, so many people aren't so lucky and don't know til it's too late.

Thank you so much for your kind comments on my last post. It really means a lot to me, and also why I feel bad not being able to comment on all of your posts as this is such a great support network and not just for running. Hopefully this week (although it's nearly gone already!!) I will be able to get back to some kind of plan for the running and blogging, especially as my evil husband came home with some scales and they were very nasty to me. Haven't even got the excuse that it's from all the running so its muscle not fat as I've barely done enough to burn off a biscuit, let alone any turn to muscle!! 

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You know me and Bon Jovi!!

Been a tough week this week.  Seems to be the story of my life and I'm sorry that you have all born the brunt of it.  I swear when I signed up for the marathon life was quite good, and fundamentally it still is really and thats what I have to keep remembering.

Well the bad news is my mum's cancer is back. After her op in July to remove some of her bowel she took quite a long time to recover and was still getting quite a lot of pain.  She ended up persuading the doctors to give her another colonoscopy but that was mainly to check the internal scar was healing properly.  She got the results this week and it turns out 14 more polyps had grown since the surgery and 2 of them had turned cancerous already.  Turns out she's got a very rare form of the cancer that is genetic (great!!) so chemo isn't an option as the polyps will still grow back.  She has two options, one is to have a colonosopy every 3 months to remove and monitor the polyps or the other is to have her bowel removed. Neither option is particularly nice and its weighing up whether she goes for the easier option but with a risk of one of the polyps turning agressive (the image of this lump eating up my mum is quite ironic but apt really!!) and then spreading or having her bowel removed, which isn't nice and will involve one of those bag things (sorry don't do squemish so ignored that bit when she was tellling me). I personally think she should get a second opinion, espeacially seeing as she received all of her treatment privately and yet they seemed to have got everything completely wrong and it's only the fact that she kept insisting something wasn't right that she has found out about the cancer this time!! She sees the surgeon on Monday and then it's decision time.  I'll keep you posted but to be honest it's not really that bad, she has options, both of which aren't that bad in the long run when you think that we are dealing with cancer so all in all we're doing ok!

The other bad thing in my life at the moment is my 4 year old who has turned into a monster!! He was a bit poorly at the beginning of the week and has been playing on it ever since usually resulting in both mother and child shouting at each other just to get anywhere!! AAAAHHHH.  I'm not a shouty person either but he knows just what buttons to push and most of the time I HAVE to shout just to be heard.  Kids hey. 

Anyway it was the arguement this afternoon while trying to get him to go to pre-school that had put me in a really bad mood.  Forced him there and left him crying only to get a text 2 mins later from my neighbour who works there saying he was happy as anything!! Feeling really fed up I searched the house for chocolate to no avail (it is January!!) and was contemplating the red wine left over from Xmas (it was hidden thats why it wasn't drunk before) when I thought "no get a grip women, a run always makes you feel better!!" So I dug out my running stuff and decided to go for it.  The back isn't completely better, it still twinges and I think its going to go, but so far it hasn't.  Foot is fine now  so thought sod it, lets go for a run and see how it goes.  It was pouring with rain but to be honest that kind of suited my mood and feeling in a daring mood decided to try out running along the river which I hadn't had the guts to do before as it is very isolated.

I was naughty and didn't bother warming up properly just started off running really slowly.  The run along the river was lovely and I hadn't been along that way since my teens when I wasn't meant to go down there because it was isolated but always did with either my friends or the current boyfriend.  Had taken my music but wasn't listening to it as wanted to just enjoy the silence.  Unfortunately all I could hear were cars and turning the corner I realised why.  They'd built a bloody road over the river and a main one at that.  I was only out of Wickford for 7 years, when the hell did that happen?  Also explains why I can often hear road noise from my house when the window is open at night!!! God knows where this road goes to or comes from as I've never driven down it!! Anyway put my earphones in and carried on regardless, the feel of the rain on my face and the sound of my feet squelching in the muddy puddles was heaven and just what I needed.  I ran (and walked a little in the very slippy bits) all the way to the end of the track and then came back again.  As the river was quite high was going to cut through to the park and the footbridge that crosses the river as that is always a good point to see how high it has risen.  I glanced at my phone just to see how long I'd been running and realised it was for nearly an hour, and that I had to pick Alex up in half hour.  Upped the pace a bit and ran home (no choice now!!) and quick jumped in the shower only to get wet again on the school run!!

Touch wood no back pain and I feel so much better for doing that run - 3 1/2 miles - wow!! Was surprised when I measured it and feel like I could have carried on if I'd had time although I was running really slow.  Am thinking that maybe I can do this marathon again.  Oh dear dilemma time again!! Going to go for another run at the weekend, see how it goes, and maybe take each day as it comes.  I feel at the moment that this year is my year to run the marathon.  It's been tough but I'm still here and it gives me something to work towards, something that makes the not so good stuff seem bearable, and something I can feel proud of achieving when most of the time I just felt like quitting!!

Anyway it's dinner time now and I am starving. Simon's out tonight so I'm spending the evening catching up on all your blogs, although the boxset of The Wire is very tempting but I promised Si I wouldn't watch any without him.  In the absence of alcohol and chocolate its our little treat at the end of the day and what a fantastic series it is.  I'm addicted!

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Thank you all so much for your support and comments over the past week.  It really means a lot and knowing that others have had to defer due to injury in the past does make me feel better, and also realise that it may be a good thing in the long run (no pun intended, it just slipped in!!). That said I still haven't actually told my charity I want to defer yet, I can't bring myself to do it as then it really does mean its all over. Is that wrong?? I suppose deep down part of me still thinks I'll do it no matter what.  I've been doing a lot of walking over the last week, mainly because my old faithful car won't start but also to try and ease the back bit.  Touch wood it's not too bad and as I've got strict with the lazy 4 year old and refuse to carry him anywhere now and have been careful doing any kind of lifting and bending it does feel better.  Also been popping lots of painkillers which I never usually do but they seem to help. We went swimming yesterday and again only a couple of twinges.  Maybe, just maybe, it will be ok in the end.  Can't see the osteopath til next week as unsurprisingly lots of people appear to have injured their backs falling over in the snow.

Was really hard this morning though waking up to the sun shining through the bedroom and my first thought being "What a great day for a long run".  Almost tempted to give the back a try running but thought better not.  Have been doing lots of reading on the internet about back pain/injuries (again this is something I never usually do but being desperate an all that) and the consensus seems to be that exercise is good as long as it is gentle, I run really slowly, surely that could be classed as gentle exercise?? I just don't know what to do.  Glad I didn't pull out straight away as that may have been a bit hasty (a big thank you to all you more experienced runners about giving it a little time before making a final decision) but am also worried I'm just clutching at straws.  My alarm went off this morning at 9 remindind me there is only 14 weeks til VLM.  Even if I were to get fit it's still a big ask.  I'll keep you posted and please keep your fingers crossed, it ain't over til this fat lady crosses that line!!!

Other news in the Compton household is that Alex finally went back to school on Monday.  We had to drag him there crying his eyes out on Monday and Tuesday and on Weds he woke early and just lay in our bed saying he was to ill to go to school, the same thing he'd said the previous days. Anyway hard mother that I am sent him to school only to get a phonecall in the afternoon saying that he'd had an accident. My husband had taken the call and before they could explain what had happened he was already round at the school (we live 2 mins away) thinking he was injured. Got only to find the accident was in his pants, and not the wet kind either!! Bless him he is such a shy boy anyway and never even uses the toilet at school so he was absolutely mortified that this had happend and to make matters worse it was while the register was being taken and all the kids were sitting on the floor so everyone knew.  As they thought it was a bug he had to stay at home Thurs and Fri but is now already saying he's too ill to go to school tomorrow, which he isn't as he was fine when he was at home.  I think what happened was the teacher gets the right hump if the kids go to the toilet during lesson time so Alex tried to hold on to it without much success.  2 other boys that I know of have wet themselves because they weren't allowed to go so as I'm helping in class tomorrow I'm going to have a word with her.  I understand that a lot of the kids do mess around but she has now made the rest of the children too scared to go and so you get accidents which for shyer children like Alex is an awful thing to happen and I just hope the other kids are ok with him.

Hope you are all doing well with your running and I'm going to catch up with some blogs later.  The builders doing the roof knocked the phone line out last week so I'm really behind but hopefully they'll be finished tomorrow and normal service will be resumed.

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when I slipped and sprained my ankle and put my back out!!!

It's my own fault for being smug and getting out in the snow, when really i should have been sensible and found a treadmill somewhere like the rest of you. 

It all actually started on Saturday when my race number for the Hadleigh 15 (miles) came through the door.  It is on the 24 Jan and if Xmas and illness hadn't got in the way I would have been just about up for it I reakon.  Unfortunately I'm only actually up to about 5 miles (at a push) but figured 2 weeks I could push myself to 10 miles and just go for the experience.  Therefore got up Sunday and thought sod it, my plan says 6 miles, I'm doing 6 miles so off I trot in the snow, probably slightly too confident for the conditions but having managed just fine on the last 2 snowy runs just went for it.  Went round the school field fine but to get from the field to the park (note I wasn't attempting roads as they were too slippy) you have to duck under a fence and go up a muddy path for barely 10 mtrs.  As I was mid run I ducked under the fence and carried on running, and slipped on a nice icy mound spraining my ankle and in my haste to recover so as not to fall over put my back out.  Ouch! For some stupid reason hobbled on for a bit thinking I could jog/walk it out.  Couldn't and so hobbled home where I iced up and took some painkillers thinking it would be better in a few hours.

Neither were and yesterday found myself at the doctors. He was very nice and understanding, considering I spent 5 minutes sobbing uncontrollably while trying to explain that I want to run the marathon in just under 15 weeks. Once I had calmed down enough to have a reasonable chat he went through my options.  The ankle will be fine after a week of rest, lots of ice and some painkillers. He thinks I may have slipped a disc or trapped a nerve (static one or something like that) and that could be a problem. He's referred me to an osteopath for further treatment who may be able to do something for me but basically as I wasn't really fit when I started all of this and am carrying an extra 2 stone of weight and never really got into a regular pattern of running due to illness ect doing the marathon in 15 weeks is a bit unrealistic.  He did say that if I was happy to walk it he'd have no major objections but realistically I'm only going to be able to do gentle exercise for at least the next 6 - 8 weeks (absolutely no running and dependent on what the osteopath advises) maybe longer, even walking round could be a bit of a problem because of the distance and my lack of general fitness. Longer term I should be fine as I long as I take it really slowly and carefully.

Therefore I think my only option is to defer my place til next year (as long as the charity agrees).  I've spent most of the night tossing and turning wondering whether I should just walk round.  I've wanted to do this for so long and now feel like I've blown it and am letting everyone down.  I know even walking round is still doing the marathon but I think most of you on here will understand that I wanted to run it, or at least a large part of it, that was the challenge I set to myself and walking round is a bit of a cop out which depending on how the back is may not even be possible anyway.

One of the hardest parts in knowing that I'm now not going to get the chance to meet any of you, except maybe from the side of the road, and I feel like we've been on this journey together and now for me at least it's over, before it even started really.  I'm going to try and keep up on all of your blogs and will keep you posted in case a miracle happens but for me it's the end of the road for this year at least!!

Good luck to you all and I hope you all stay injury free.  Thank you for all you support and comments which really have got me this far. Hopefully this time next year I'll be raring for the Hadleigh 15!!

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